Deborah's Journal

We would like to welcome Deborah , who has volunteered to share her journey through having bariatric surgery on 14th October with you all.

We know that her feelings will be shared by many of you and she will be regularly bringing you updates in the coming months up to and following surgery. If any of you would like us to pass on messages to Deborah please email us at info@bigmatters.co.uk and we will forward your comments.

Thank you to Deborah from Big Matters and all those who will be with you along the coming months.

July 17th 2006

Here I am again!

Going on holiday tomorrow to Greece. My daughter is taking with her 7 friends from school for a holiday of a life time. How will I cope and keep up with them? That is a big question and how will I manage to not make my daughter look stupid. Do I go swimming and let her friends see what a beach whale I am – or do I look at the positive side and see how happy my daughter is with her friends being there. What do I pack, a serious of Demi Roussos caftans, for those of you of an age to remember this greek singer. To me, everything I wear makes me look terrible.

On a positive side, I have purchased an exercise book and started a food diary – I started yesterday going back to the Healthier Weight Centre type diet and it worked well until the evening – but I am writing everything down. I went to see a homeopathic doctor, who gave me some tablets, basically I went and explained that I would be going on 14th October to have surgery and what could I take to make my recovery easier – she basically went through my diet and kept stressing the need for protein and no carbs at night. She was very good but homeopathic medicine does take time to work – I will keep it up.

My daughter read my previous posting and was very upset – I don’t think she had realized how difficult life is and was on a daily basis – for the first time she felt sorry for me rather than being angry. I don’t know which is worse.As far as I am concerned, I feel a certain sense of calm and what I aim to do is to make sure that I stick to some sort of diet whilst on holiday. After all, if I cant do that, what makes me think I can stick to the rules after the operation?

I have been encouraged by some people on the WLS website when I asked if there were any oldies out there and whilst the oldest was in their 60s , none had my weight – I am not alone and that means something.

July 10th 2006

I am 57 years old and weigh 28 stone – at my heaviest I have weighed 30 stone.

I was a normal child until 7/8 – my parents divorced and we moved UK. MY Mother was British and father American. I went to a series of boarding schools dependant on where my Mother worked and by the time I was 11, I had a weight problem. My Mother remarried and my weight increased. On my Mother’s side everyone is quite tall and large and obviously being overweight runs in the family. At 11 I was sent to Hammersmith Hospital and put on Pond Stan, which was a sort of drug for appetite control, but managed to send you into frenzy and never being able to sleep was one of the things that happened to me.

My secondary education was pretty miserable due to my weight, although I always managed to take part in sports and social activities but I was felt on the outside. Leaving school I went to a College e and spent 2 miserable years there – to get up and walk to the line for the canteen was a major battle and I felt all eyes were on me. Leaving school I had a succession of jobs and was always a hard worker, sometimes having 3 jobs – working in an office during the day, a hotel kiosk at weekends and a restaurant at night. Leaving home when I was 19 made me very independent and somehow content. I had lost weight without trying too hard but then slowly put it back on. At that time I went to Harley Street for a 3 week course which involved injections and pills – ultimately the doctor was banned some years later.

At 21 I went to work in Greece – I was at an acceptable level in terms of weight but over the next 10 years slowly piled it on, until I reached 100kgs – a succession of bad relationships due to my low self esteem made my eating habits out of control. I was transferred back to London to work for the same Greek Shipping company at the age of 31.

Weight continued to pile on and during this period tried various methods to loose weight. My longest time to follow a diet was one month and then everything else I lost was put on and then some!

When I was 39 I fell pregnant and despite all odds had a baby girl – the pregnancy was fine until the 30th week when I started having swelling of the ankles but as I felt as if I was superwoman, I continued traveling for my company and worked up to I was hospitalized . My daughter was born with amniotic bands on her fingers which basically meant her fingers on some of the digits were not perfectly formed – like an elastic band wrapped around each finger – her early childhood was made up of me being hugely tired all the time and struggling to go to work and also be with her – although I love her too bits, I was also very strict.

She is now 18 and has just left school. During that period I tried the following weight loss diets

Weight watchers – about 5 times – most I lost was 10 kilos
Slimming world – this gave me a carbohydrate craving which I have to this day – I would eat rice 3 times a day and other types of starchy food – although I lost weight I felt sluggish all the time
I went on an NHS diet of milk for 6 weeks and then slowly reintroduced food – it took 1 year to get on the programme – I lost 20 kilos and kept it off for about 1 year – that was about 9 years ago
4. I have tried nutritionists, hypnotists, and other alternative therapy

My latest diet was with the Healthier Weight Centre this year and I followed their programme and lost 30 pounds- however due to my traveling, find it very difficult to attend each week and have fallen by the way side.

When I joined, I told myself either I have the operation or I follow this – so in my usual patter, I followed it and then lost the plot.

For the last 2 years I have been pondering whether to have WLS and at the end of last year made a date for lap band surgery – I got cold feet and cancelled it and did a similar thing at the start of this year. I have seen 3 specialists to obtain their opinion and whilst they all agreed I needed surgery, I finally have made up my mind to be operated on. This is no easy decision because of my age and weight and also my daughter’s age and being a single parent – however I believe I have no other choice.

My current health problems are

Arthritis of the knees – so bad I can hardly walk

Lymphodema of the lower limbs – a condition which means you have to take antibiotics and your legs swell up – you have to wear support hose that make your look like Nora Batty

High blood pressure – controlled by medication

And generally I am a disabled person – by that I mean I can hardly walk – at home I have to sit to do any job, so there are stools everywhere – I cant go shopping with my daughter and order everything on line – when I travel I have to get wheelchairs as I cannot make it through the airport – at any social function I never dance – I am a couch potato

The sad part of it is I have a wonderful job, a fantastic daughter and could have a good life style but am just too large to enjoy everything.

Every day is a struggle – to get up is a struggle and get ready – I am exhausted – If I have people around, everyone has to look after themselves.

So finally as I said before I have decided to have the operation at Kings College Hospital on 14th October. I have decided to go for the RNY and basically it was the surgeon Mr Patel’s suggestion and having made the

Decision for the first time in my life I feel calm. I hope to continue feeling like this up until the time of the operation.

Now the big question is how much I can currently help my self. I need to loose weight to make the risks lower and to make the fat around the liver smaller, so it is easier to operate.

I have to make an appointment with the cardiologist and no doubt other tests. So far my GP has been supportive. I have been looking at the WLS website and can find very few people my age who are being operated on. I am of course worried; however I am equally worried about my current health. This is not a life when I wake up tired and go to bed exhausted – I find very little pleasure in anything.

I hope you can relate to my struggles and I will keep you posted of how things go on.

July 2006 Deborah


useful links

British Obesity Surgery Patients Association

www.bospa.org Offers information on surgical procedures and post operative support.

Weight Loss Surgery

http://www.wlsinfoforums.org.uk/ Forum site offering the chance to exchange experiences of surgery.

 


© 2004 Big Matters Limited all rights reserved

___________________________________________________________________

________________________________

_All content within Big Matters website is provided for general information only and should not be treated as a substitute for the medical advice, diagnosis or treatment of your own doctor or any other health care professional. Big Matters Ltd is not liable for the contents of any external internet sites listed, nor does it endorse any individual, including all independant consultants on this site, any commercial product or service mentioned or advised any of the sites including nutritional information supplied herein. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider if you have any questions regarding a medical condition, your diet or before embarking on any exercise program or if you're in any way concerned about your health. Under no circumstances shall Big Matters be liable for any loss, damage or harm caused by a User's reliance on information obtained through this site. It is the responsibility of a User to evaluate the information, opinion, advice or other Content available on Big Matters website.Jessica Villa, Leigh Brandon & Richard Krijgsman are all independant consultants.

__________________________________